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We’re going to a wedding this weekend - it’s a very good friend of mine from school days. They sent us an e-mail detailing their wedding list info.
Are we the only people in the world who don’t like wedding lists?!
I appreciate that times have changed; people live together before marriage (we did) and so already have the traditional wedding gifts of household items, but I don’t like being told what to get!
To me, it takes away my right to give a personal present to the couple which they will always remember is from me/us.
Therefore, I haven’t even looked at the list…I have gone and bought a little gift which is unique.
We didn’t have a wedding list, and we got loads of great stuff ‘cos people had to think. We got loads of lovely candles, and somebody got us a wicker basket filled with bottles of wine! The vino is long gone but we use the basket all the time. One person’s present was to take us to the airport and bring us back - Wedding lists NO!!
At my wedding we had a registry list, but a lot of people went and bought gifts on their own. I think the list is for those people who don’t want to, or can’t think of what to get you. Most people will not go by the list. We got a lot of unique things as well, and I was happy with the outcome.
34 Responses to “Wedding lists - good or bad?”
They say a lot about the couple though don’t you think.
They make clear their expectation of how much you can spend on the gift, and you get to laugh, and come up with a good reason why you won’t be going.
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I personally don’t like wedding lists either, when I married my wife we just asked for Argos vouchers, it made life a lot easier for those buying.
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VERY bad
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They can be helpful, especially in larger weddings. It organizes things, so you don’t get duplicate items. I think younger people tend to use it more often. Seems older people are offended by them. (at least that was my experience)
I have to agree about the special/ thoughtful gives. These were mostly given to me by close friends and family and they mean more to me than any place setting or toaster.
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There is nothing wrong with having a wedding list, it really does help people to figure out what to get. The last thing the couple wants is to receive things that they already have. Just because the list has been provided doesn’t mean you have to go by it though, it can just give you some good ideas. If you choose to get something totally different then I would think that should be fine as well.
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You should stick to their registry. No matter how good you think your gift is.. they may think it’s crap. And there is nothing worse than smiling and thanking someone for a shitty gift.
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I got married young and didn’t even own a pot and pan to cook spaghetti in. We registered for kitchen and bath supplies and other items for our new home. We received many gifts from our registry and then we also received "unique" and "original" gifts from people that just completely confused me. Why!?!?!?!? The best gift you can give someone is something they NEED. I regifted more than a few frames, candle sticks and weird knick knacks. The toaster oven, oven mitts and frying pan I received are still in use all these years later and I remember who gave it to me because I appreciated it. Get over yourself.
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At my wedding we had a registry list, but a lot of people went and bought gifts on their own. I think the list is for those people who don’t want to, or can’t think of what to get you. Most people will not go by the list. We got a lot of unique things as well, and I was happy with the outcome.
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Good for those relatives who always get you something truly hideous, bad for your friends who may want to get you something a little more personal. I say to hell with the list and if your friend doesn’t like the fact that you didn’t buy her the matching his and her loo roll holders, then at least you won’t have to buy anything if they ever have children!
Overall opinion- BAD
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i think a wedding list is just not right…
i could say i want an airplane…
will they get me one?
i think youre right, you should be unique.
and if you have a list you could get the same thing from 4 different people.
so forget about the list and say you wanted to be a non-comformist and give them something special
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It’s not imperitive that you get something off the wedding list, it’s just to give an idea to those that don’t have a clue what to get.
Respect their wishes and quit complaining, okay so you’ve bought them something ‘unique’, let’s hope they appreciate the ‘love and thought’ that’s gone into it.
If I was going to a wedding and didn’t have a list I’d probably get them a basket of everyday things like washing up liquid etc.
Maybe not your choice, but I’d appreciate it if it were mine.
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Well, at least use the list as a basis for what you will by. If all else fails, give them a gift card to the place they are registered.
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Hi there
I still buy gifts, even if there is a list or wishing well in place, I found with a very old dear friend that my gift did make a difference to her as the years rolled by it became a valued treasure
Good for you
Have a great week, enjoy the wedding
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I have always felt that wedding list are tacky & set how much they expect you & others to spend on a gift for them.
On the other hand wedding list at retailers also let you know if a gift has already been purchased & eliminates getting the same gift over & over.
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I think they’re vile! I never buy off wedding lists - a present is a present, not a demand, and the fact that most people don’t need household items any more as they have already set up home makes them even more cheeky- at least in the past you were contributing to what a couple needed rather than just whatever new stuff took their fancy. And I don’t think you’re alone at all, me and a lot of my friends have been to many weddings in the past few years, and I’ve never heard anyone have anything good to say about wedding lists. Some people use them because they’re too lazy to shop and think or they’ve left it too late, but they still bitch about them!Hx
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I totally agree with you!I personally think it’s pretty rude telling people what to get you! And it’s much more exciting knowing that people are going to go out and think about it and look for it themselves!
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Wedding lists are great if guests are clueless as to what to buy the couple but if you have a special gift in mind then go for it. It is not set in stone that the gift should be from the list and will be a lovely surprise if something different.
It is there if you choose to use it but any gift will surely be gratefully accepted.
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Weddings lists are only good for giving people ideas… maybe it should be renamed a "idea list". I hate it when people spend a day in somewhere like debenhams and decide what they want, prices and all… then hand them out to their friends. Presents are a way of congratulating people, they shouldn’t be told "choose one off here and buy it for us!" That’s just wrong
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I hate wedding lists and birthday lists! Until a few years ago, I was always given a list for my nephews birthday and it really peed me off. Since then, I have always ignored the list and given him money (much appreciated). I agree with you. A present that is bought with the person/persons at heart is the best, especially a friend’s wedding. Have a lovely time and buy them what YOU want.
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Imagine! Harry Enfield would say ‘If I was given a wedding list, I would say ‘NO’!
Wedding list? Is that the same thing as a wedding registry?
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I’m with you, they completley take the imagination out of a gift, and it feels like you’re buying a gift for the sake of it, not because you want your gift to make them happy.
No way would I have one.
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I think along the lines you do. We didn’t have a registry for our wedding, and totally appreciated any gifts we were fortunate enough to get! For others’ weddings, we don’t buy from the registry, but choose personally a gift suited to the couple.
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I didn’t have a wedding list. It is just another thing to stress over! I am sue your friend will appreciate your gift. Have a good time!
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I don’t think it is really telling you what to get, maybe just suggestions of what they need or want. I mean ultimately the majority of people get the bride and groom whatever they think they need anyway.
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I’ll take my thumbs-down for this one, but personally, I LIKE the idea of the registry/list!!
It all depends on how you look at them….They are certainly not a mandated shopping list, but rather, they’re a starting point to help me pick exactly the right gift.
For one, I know that if I decide to purchase from the list, I am buying the couple something that they want/need/will use. After all, they picked it out!! (Please note, a proper registry should contain items at all price points, to accommodate anyone’s budget).
If, however, I want to give a personal gift, that’s also more than acceptable! However, again, looking at their registry/list gives me an idea of their decorating tastes (contemporary, traditional, etc.), and the color scheme that they’ve chosen in their new home. This way, if I DO choose a personal gift, I can incorporate their tastes/preferences into whatever I choose.
I know a lot of people disagree with this thought process, but personally, I’d rather have an idea of what the couple would like, versus just buying them something they may or may not need/want/use.
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wedding registries are fine. You are giving them a gift. You want that gift to be useful to them. How is it useful if they get 4 toasters? You don’t have to get what is on the registry. A nice alternative is money. They can use it for whatever they want.
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wedding lists are ok, some people aren’t as good at buying presents than others and they would rather get something the couple want than give them something they will never use. You dont have to buy off the wedding list if you dont want to. When I got married we told everyone who wanted to buy gifts to give us vouchers and we bought what we wanted, then in each thank you card we told people what we got with their vouchers and it worked well. Also a wedding is a very expensive day and everyone gets a free slap up meal and wine so why shouldnt the couple get something back eh?
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i’ve been to two weddings this year, both had wedding lists and I ignored both of them!! If you’re comfortable buying from the list then do, if not then don’t. lists from places like John Lewis I find terrible as they gifts are all so expensive, and if you want to spend,say, £20 on the couple you end up buying something like a bloody teatowel it’s ridiculous. Needless to say I bought nothing from that list.
I do agree though that the gifts you buy might not be what the couple wanted (I knew both couples very well and know what I bought was appropriate and something they each liked). E.g. if you don’t know someone well and are invited to their wedding, do you still make a decision as to what you buy them? I’d rather buy a gift that someone is going to like and use than something that’s going to be chucked in the drawer and forgotten about!
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i totally agree with you,
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Wedding lists are very, very bad. Selfish, greedy and inconsiderate. I always ignore the list.
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no i don,t like wedding list.
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Well we have a wedding list that we set up at debenhams as people kept asking where is the list, we don’t want anything just for people to share our special day.
Yes there are a few things we need but I always feel that the best gifts are the ones where you walk past an item and think to yourself they would love that!!
I hate the thought of people knowing what I have brought them before the day as it ruins the surprise.
A lot of people would like money or holiday vouchers but how can you ask for money! Many people don’t like to give cash as they don’t know what it’s going to be used for they like to know what they have brought will remind you of them (even if it is just a teatowel).
If you know this person well then you will know what to buy maybe they created the list like my self just to stop eveyone asking!!!!!
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I like them for other people’s weddings, yes, sometimes it is hard to know what to buy a couple and unless you have a really inspired idea then it can be hard to know what to get that would be useful or wanted. For my wedding though we don’t have a list, we have lived together for nearly 3 years and really do not need anything. Our wedding is being attended by family and a few close friends, they have asked us what we would like for our wedding gift and we have said we just want them to come and enjoy the day, not to bring presents because them attending would be our gift. A couple of people have been really insistent that they MUST buy us something, in that case I have said towels, they are not too expensive and you can never too many of them. We are grateful for anything that people give us, but are really saying to people that their attendance is more important to us than a gift.
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jus t get whatever you want to get them - i always do i never pick from the list i alwasy eitehr make picture frames or photo albumns and something from my heart that i think they will cherish to remember thier special day - i’m sure they will be pleased with one surprise anyway!
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