Wedding Information

We are planning an Indian wedding with 4 months of preparation time and we really need a checklist and a budget template. This is for a traditional Indian Hindu punjab wedding. Any links or lists are appreciated. The more detailed the better.

don’t know what to suggest concerning a budget sheet except to make one of your own because i couldn’t find anything online….but here are a couple of sites to help you with the details of what you need to do and plan for.

http://www.indyapulse.com/IndiaGuide/PunjabiTraditions.asp

http://www.dkpromotions.com/weddings/punjabi.html

I noticed my daughter and her fiance failed to put some very important information on their wedding invitations. What is the proper way to go about getting that information to everyone that is invited?
They put the date and time but didn’t have the place of the wedding on the invitation. They inserted a card with the Place and address on it! They also left out the fact that there will be a cocktail hour with buffet reception following.

What information did they forget?

If they have the date and time and place of ceremony
That is all what you need
If it’s the reception, you could let people now at the ceremony

What is the information they forgot

On Sunday I’m hosting a brunch for my bridesmaids. This will be the first "official" meeting to discuss the wedding. I was going to give them a packet with basic info like the planning timeline, what I need to do and what I’ve already done, etc. just so we are all on the same page. Other stuff included would be pictures of bridesmaids gowns I liked, favors I was looking at, the invitation we chose, etc.

I don’t want or expect the bridesmaids to keep them, but I just want the information to be available/at hand for each of them for the duration of the brunch.

Anyway, so my question is this: do you think it will be considered bridezilla-ish for me to do that? I already know it’s a little type A, but I just don’t want to seem like I’m being too controlling or asking too much of them.

PS - My mom was also thinking of getting them bridesmaids books. Not sure exactly what, but I think like a "guide." I feel that that is definitely being a little over the top, but she’s set on it. What do you guys think?

I think it’s a good idea. I think they need to be informed of what is going on and I think they would appreciate you incorporating them into the wedding a little more.

OK so I want to firstly make it completely clear that I would never ever expect any presents whatsoever and I was always unsure about wedding lists. But people have mentioned its a good idea to prevent friends wasting money on duplicate presents.

I have no intention of putting a wedding list in the invites or anything I just thought perhaps I should have one incase people ask. Now a lot of people I know arent into using the internet so I was wondering if you can get a paper/book style wedding gift list? I cant find one but I do remember years ago someone having one that was almost like a cheque book (you tear out the one you wish to buy for the couple). Has anyone seen these anywhere?

Ideally we would prefer cash or gift cards I think most couples would- I even love the idea where people contribute to your honeymoon but I think most guests dont want us to know how much they have spent which I completely understand.

So my question is… do these book style gift lists even exist? Any paper versions? I dont want to force people to use one shop or to use the internet…

Thank you

I know about argos gift lists etc but I don’t want to tie people to using certain shops or anythin like that

I’m not sure about the book lists you’re talking about, but the thing about registries is that, even if people aren’t "into the internet", as long as you register at a couple of places that are easy to get to, like Target, Kohl’s, Macy’s, etc, they don’t need the internet. They can go into the store and have instant access to what is on your list there that hasn’t been taken.

And the issue of where you’re registered isn’t that big a deal. In the old days, word of mouth worked perfectly - people will be asking you, your mom, your bridesmaids. Also, if someone gives you a bridal shower, your registry info is usually listed on the invite.

You’ll get your share of cash regardless, but I do think it’s important to give guests the option of a present. A lot of people still prefer this.

Ok here is what is going on i am getting married next month and certain family members keep calling saying they have people to add to the guest list. Let me explain my fiance family keep calling
saying they have other family members to add to list mind you this are people who were not invited in the first place. His grandmothers nephew and his great cousin’s were not invited yes his great aunt and uncle were invited but not there kids. My great aunts and uncle on my side were not invited as i don’t really know them and just wanted close family and friends to attend. I mean this is a month before the wedding and we have like 10 people who are coming that was not invited. His family says well they were planning on coming to Visit that weekend and no idea the wedding was that day so we just invited them. Ok fine maybe on or two but not ten we are already way over the limit as to how many people we wanted. But then i get yelled out for inviting a close friend who i just started to talk to again. How do i nicely tell them they can’t invite anyone else i mean i have a month till the wedding and we keep having to add people when i called the tent company in the begging i just got enough table and chairs for people who were invited knowing that not all will show. Please help this is stressing me out it starting to feel like a family runuion for his family instead of a wedding.

Say that you and your husband to be created a guest list based on what you could afford and were comfortable with and you have reached the maximum number of guests you can invite. Say unless someone gets an invite directly, they are not invited. You might have to tell some of these people directly to ensure the word gets around. It’s nice to accommodate a person here or there but I agree it can get out of hand quickly. Best to nip it in the bud sooner than later.

How stressful was/is it for you & your fiance? Was/is your fiance making things seems impossible because of money being limited? Please let me know if any of you are experiencing this. Cause I am! I’m so stressed and frustrated! I only have 2 more months and we’ve been planning since the beginning of the year but the budget is killing me softly. AHhhhh!!

It does make me angry that the wedding industry has become such a money making business that everyone has their hands in the bride’s pockets. And so many of the details are completely unnecessary, but people make brides think they are essential.

My best suggestion involves having someone who has some spare time and is dependable to do some legwork for the bride. This person can look at venues, florists, photographers, etc and get lots of time consuming running around taken care of. Then make a list and let the bride look at the 3-5 best choices and make a decision after speaking to the vendors she’s interested in.

It’s hard to not get so excited that you’ll order things that aren’t necessary, waste time on projects that won’t make a difference. I spoke to a young bride today who decided "to heck" with the fancy invitations. She and her fiance make beautiful invitations themselves. They are charming, show the personality of the couple and are true keepsakes. And they cost less than $1 each, plus postage.

By the time many brides get into the planning, they realize the money is running low because of things people talked them into early on. And that is what is so aggravating for people who’ve "been there, done that."

But please try to relax and enjoy the time until the wedding. Ask yourself "is this necessary" next time someone wants your money. You have to look out for you own budget. Vendors won’t help you. They’re looking out for themselves, at your expense.

I wish you the very best!!!

We are planning a reception for about 90 people in September, and would like something with more character than a boring hall, but we are on a tight budget. Any ideas??

try these locations:

Gate Street Barn at http://www.wedding-venues.co.uk/gatestreetbarn

The Chase Lodge Hotel at http://www.chaselodgehotel.com/functions.html

Bury Court Barn at http://burycourtbarn.co.uk/

I am currently being faced with 2 wedding guest list issues. Both dealing with cousins and both dealing with children.

I come from a large family (9 aunts and uncles between both parents) Therefore I also have a large number of cousins. Some of these cousins are old enough to have children my age (mid-twenties)

Fact: I plan on inviting ONLY up to first cousins. (No 2nd, or 3rd, and so on)
Fact: Children under 11 are not being invited to the wedding or reception. With the exception of my nephew who is my ring bearer and is the ONLY niece or nephew)

Issue one: I have a set of 3 second cousins who are my age on my fathers side. I am not close to these kids as we grew up apart, but I am close to their mother my 1st cousin. I intend on ONLY inviting my first cousin and her husband. My 2 of my second cousins think that this is unfair and that they should be included because we are close in age. They also feel that they should drag along the 5 children they have between the two of them all under the age of 4. They weren’t supposed to be told that they weren’t invited, but my aunt (Their gram) let something slip when she was up visiting. Neither my cousin or my aunt will be the least bit hurt by me not inviting their children.
How do I clear up this problem without any more drama?

Issue Two: I have an adult cousin on my mothers side with a 4 year old adopted daughter from Guatemala. Unfortunately my cousin only has partial custody of this little girl due to a divorce. Because of that we only see her a couple of times a year, and usually in the fall. My aunt is up in arms over this little girl not being invited to the wedding because “It would be a good time for her to see family” and “You really should use her has a flower girl anyways”. I have made it clear that I am not having young children at my wedding or reception. Also this girl is a tiny tyrant who has clearly been spoiled as a result of her parents. I would worry about her making a scene, and as a flower girl I wouldn’t trust her since in the past she has been quite mean to my nephew because she didn’t like him.
How do I address this issue as well?

I apologize for the length, but I am being bombarded by emails, voicemail, and FB messages and the wedding is STILL a year a way!

Okay, YOUR choice to invite certain generations…Your grandparents generation, your parent’s generation, and Your generation which includes your siblings AND first cousins…

You do NOT have to invite the second generations of cousins as long as you make the cut off first cousins-age is NOT a factor.

To explain this you say you can only afford to invite up to the first cousins…you can not afford 2nd, third cousins…there is no money for that…there is no room for that.

Second, you have the right to make a cut off based on age as well……she does not qualify because she is too young and not a first cousin-her mother is. So by both ‘rules’ she is can not be invited.

The only exception to the no child rule is 1) siblings of the bride or groom 2) child members of the bridal party.

You answer each enquiry once….any repeat enquiries you may answer with ‘I am still very sorry, but my first answer to your request stands…please let us know if you and S0 and So will be attending….

My roommate’s just got engaged and they’re planning the wedding for October. They both want a simple wedding without all of the fancy stuff most people go for. She’s really bad at organizing and is worried she’ll forget something important in the midst of everything.

Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

My roommate’s just got engaged and they’re planning the wedding for October. They both want a simple wedding without all of the fancy stuff most people go for. She’s really bad at organizing and is worried she’ll forget something important in the midst of everything.
Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

I really hate to recommend the site because it’s full of bridezillas and their enablers, but theknot.com has a decent pre-Wedding checklist of things that you might want or need to do. It’s free to use and not a book, but once I sorted out the "force bridesmaids to purchase ugly dresses" steps, it was useful enough.

The short list, especially for a short engagement is: self, partner, license, someone able to perform the ceremony, and witnesses. Everything else is just so much fairy dust.