My best suggestion involves having someone who has some spare time and is dependable to do some legwork for the bride. This person can look at venues, florists, photographers, etc and get lots of time consuming running around taken care of. Then make a list and let the bride look at the 3-5 best choices and make a decision after speaking to the vendors she’s interested in.

It’s hard to not get so excited that you’ll order things that aren’t necessary, waste time on projects that won’t make a difference. I spoke to a young bride today who decided "to heck" with the fancy invitations. She and her fiance make beautiful invitations themselves. They are charming, show the personality of the couple and are true keepsakes. And they cost less than $1 each, plus postage.

By the time many brides get into the planning, they realize the money is running low because of things people talked them into early on. And that is what is so aggravating for people who’ve "been there, done that."

But please try to relax and enjoy the time until the wedding. Ask yourself "is this necessary" next time someone wants your money. You have to look out for you own budget. Vendors won’t help you. They’re looking out for themselves, at your expense.

I wish you the very best!!!

Gate Street Barn at http://www.wedding-venues.co.uk/gatestreetbarn

The Chase Lodge Hotel at http://www.chaselodgehotel.com/functions.html

Bury Court Barn at http://burycourtbarn.co.uk/

I come from a large family (9 aunts and uncles between both parents) Therefore I also have a large number of cousins. Some of these cousins are old enough to have children my age (mid-twenties)

Fact: I plan on inviting ONLY up to first cousins. (No 2nd, or 3rd, and so on)
Fact: Children under 11 are not being invited to the wedding or reception. With the exception of my nephew who is my ring bearer and is the ONLY niece or nephew)

Issue one: I have a set of 3 second cousins who are my age on my fathers side. I am not close to these kids as we grew up apart, but I am close to their mother my 1st cousin. I intend on ONLY inviting my first cousin and her husband. My 2 of my second cousins think that this is unfair and that they should be included because we are close in age. They also feel that they should drag along the 5 children they have between the two of them all under the age of 4. They weren’t supposed to be told that they weren’t invited, but my aunt (Their gram) let something slip when she was up visiting. Neither my cousin or my aunt will be the least bit hurt by me not inviting their children.
How do I clear up this problem without any more drama?

Issue Two: I have an adult cousin on my mothers side with a 4 year old adopted daughter from Guatemala. Unfortunately my cousin only has partial custody of this little girl due to a divorce. Because of that we only see her a couple of times a year, and usually in the fall. My aunt is up in arms over this little girl not being invited to the wedding because “It would be a good time for her to see family” and “You really should use her has a flower girl anyways”. I have made it clear that I am not having young children at my wedding or reception. Also this girl is a tiny tyrant who has clearly been spoiled as a result of her parents. I would worry about her making a scene, and as a flower girl I wouldn’t trust her since in the past she has been quite mean to my nephew because she didn’t like him.
How do I address this issue as well?

I apologize for the length, but I am being bombarded by emails, voicemail, and FB messages and the wedding is STILL a year a way!

Okay, YOUR choice to invite certain generations…Your grandparents generation, your parent’s generation, and Your generation which includes your siblings AND first cousins…

You do NOT have to invite the second generations of cousins as long as you make the cut off first cousins-age is NOT a factor.

To explain this you say you can only afford to invite up to the first cousins…you can not afford 2nd, third cousins…there is no money for that…there is no room for that.

Second, you have the right to make a cut off based on age as well……she does not qualify because she is too young and not a first cousin-her mother is. So by both ‘rules’ she is can not be invited.

The only exception to the no child rule is 1) siblings of the bride or groom 2) child members of the bridal party.

You answer each enquiry once….any repeat enquiries you may answer with ‘I am still very sorry, but my first answer to your request stands…please let us know if you and S0 and So will be attending….

Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

My roommate’s just got engaged and they’re planning the wedding for October. They both want a simple wedding without all of the fancy stuff most people go for. She’s really bad at organizing and is worried she’ll forget something important in the midst of everything.
Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

The short list, especially for a short engagement is: self, partner, license, someone able to perform the ceremony, and witnesses. Everything else is just so much fairy dust.

For my planner I just used a calender/notebook combo I bought at Staples, I think it was like $6. There was a section with a calendar (and weekly pages too), a section for phone numbers, 3 blank sections, and 2 pockets. I practically slept with it.

I do think it is necessary to put return postage on the rsvp cards. You will get many more back by doing this. If you leave it up to them, many people will toss it aside thinking they will "get to it" but they may never do it. by putting the stamps on it, they can just fill it out and send it right back.