Archive for the ‘Wedding to do list’ Category
I dreamt that my brother was invited to my uncle’s wedding and he told me about it and I was getting ready and him and one of my friends at school joined me, but she was my brothers date and they would never go out in a million years.
And while I was putting on mascara, she wanted to help me to put it on right, but I didn’t want her to help me. Then I found out that I wasn’t invited to the wedding. And I had this baby in the room with me, and when the baby accidently fell off the bed, my friend tried to take it, to make it stop crying, but I didn’t want her to take the baby from me, and then I just held the baby closer and it stopped crying.
Then my mother started looking through a wedding list, and she wanted to call my uncle and ask why I wasn’t invited, but she would never do something like this in real life, she would say it’s my fight. I felt really sad in my dream, what could it mean? thanks
It doesn’t mean anything. As you sleep, your hippocampus (a part of your brain) reorganizes the memories from your day from short term memory (big files) to long-term memory (compact, or ‘zip’ files). This is interpreted in your awareness as surreal and often ridiculous storylines. Dreams are not real and hold no truth - they are not a conscious you.
Your dream was not portending the future or representing your subconscious. What matter are your conscious thoughts and feelings while you are awake - while you are being you.
Don’t worry about it!!
My in-laws are giving me a shower (which I am very grateful for). Although I thought they went a bit overboard with the guest list, I realize it wasn’t my choice and just let them do their thing. I did, however, make sure they received a copy of the wedding guest list and told them to be sure they don’t invite anyone they didn’t have invited to the wedding. Turns out, the shower invites are already mailed and they did invite 2 people to the shower who were not invited to the wedding…they say they should have been on the wedding list. I made sure to have them check the wedding list before invites went out and asked them many times if they were forgetting anyone. I was given the ‘go ahead’ to mail wedding invites…and those two were not on my list. They aren’t immediate family and I’ve never heard their names or met them in 7 years…they’re his dead grandpa’s cousin’s children (we think). What would you do about this???
Yes, two people aren’t that big of a deal (but it really translates to 4 people with their guests…that’s $130 added to the caterer). And…this isn’t the first thing like this that’s been an issue. I fought with them about my wedding party, and about having their whole family at the rehearsal dinner and none of mine.
I’d stand firm that they aren’t invited to the wedding, as long as your fiance’ is agreeable to that. Have your 2bhubby explain to his parents that the guest list was finalized, and they shouldn’t have invited these people to the shower. Now that it’s done and they’re invited to the shower, there’s nothing you can really do about it, but that still doesn’t mean you have to change your wedding guest list because of your in-laws mistake.
Hey
I always imagined a small wedding of about 150-200 people but my parents are like those people that know everyone. i’m an only child and the youngest in my family from both sides so this wedding is going to be on a grand scale. My parents are inviting everyone they know as well as people who hate me.
It’s horrible and out of my control. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but the wedding list has reached sky high. I don’t even know about 75% of the people and of those invited some actually really dislike me and yet they are going to come to my wedding.
What should i do? I don’t wanna hurt my parents feeling but i want a small, memorable and intimate wedding not a circus. I know they always wanted this but it’s my day too.
Please help…..
My parents are the same way & I also have always wanted a small wedding & so from the beginning of planning our wedding I nicely reminded my parents that this is my wedding, not theirs, & I don’t want to feel obligated to invite all their personal friends there who don’t even know me. They agreed that I was right & things have gone smoothly, with no pressure to invite their circle of friends.
You really need to tell your parents how you feel & explain your reasons. Remind them that this is your wedding day & you’d like to keep things on the smaller side, with a more personal feel. Hopefully they will be understanding. Try to compromise with them and make sure that they run names by you before writing them on the final guest list. Talk about each person & discuss why/why not they should be invited. This is really the only way to please everyone. Good luck, and don’t let it stress you out too much, there are other things to worry about!
Well, you can see from my last question that my fiancee and I are going to marry next year and we decided no to have a wedding list. After a controversial discussion on this subject I was interested in the reasons as to why it is such a taboo in Britain to put a little, polite note in the envelope WITH the invitation to say that you appreciate monetary gifts (without using the word money-please see my last question). The reason why we decided to do so is:
1. We really don’t have much money at all and we received already a lot of little practical gifts on our engagement. And we have already most of the little things. So we really save up for the bigger things. Our wedding won’t cost much but it is a lot of money for us. But as we would like our friends to be part of our wedding we decided to have a proper reception.
2. I asked around and everyone said, they think it’s a very good idea so I was very surprised about your reaction. Also, in my culture (I am German) it is very common to "ask" for money. There will be German guests so they won’t think it’s impolite. The rest of the people in my community doesn’t mind the idea at all because they know us.
3. I don’t want people to spend too much money on ordinary things. For example: If I make a wedding list and someone decides to buy us a tin opener, most people won’t go for the 1 pound version but spend 10 pound. I would be better off with 5 pound cash and than I go and buy a tin opener for 1 pound and save the rest for a sofa or a bed. So both sides will benefit from this.I don’t want people to go into debt for us (which is also impolite) because they can only spend money on their credit card and can’t give cash. I’d rather forgo a gift altogether.
4.My parents are not involved with the wedding preperation at all as they live in Germany and we don’t have the bestest of relationships. Most people don’t know my fiancees parents so they (the guests) will be grateful (so they say) if they don’t have to ring around and ask whether there is a wedding list or not. And I think a little polite note is much better than being told by the parents that we’re better off with money - what on earth is the difference?
4. If I really put on a list what we need it would be a washing machine and furniture - Well, THAT is impolite.
5. Why does british etiquette never make sense? Sometimes I think it’s only about tradition, not a about logic.
6. If you think this method is impolite, how impolite is it to DEMAND that someone spends half a fortune to make it able for you to be part of a nice wedding but not to give anything? If someone can’t afford to give anything, I don’t have a problem with this - and they won’t be able to buy a present either anyway. But if they are my friends (which is the case with all of the people I invited) they will completely understand my situation and I will completely understand their situation. The first sentence in my note is completely sincere and honest. I do NOT expect anything but please make it easy for both of us if you want to give something. My flatmate eg asked me what if she has no money and if she could make something nice for me - something personal. And I am more than happy with this. People who know us and love us won’t be offended and everyone I asked so far actually preferred giving money…
One of my friends (and even my fiancee) reacted the same way you did, and then I explained my reasons for this. Now they understand and all my friends agree with this. So, is it still impolite?
I think the day has gone whereby you receive 10 toasters and 6 can openers. Nowadays, a majority of couples actually live together before they tie the knot so they have most things.
My son married last year and they put on their invites that they preferred not to receive gifts but if anyone wanted to give them a gift then vouchers would be welcomed as they were saving to buy a house and vouchers would help them to buy bits they wanted. Close family (ie granmothers, aunties and uncles etc) all gave cheques and some close friends gave them dollars as they were going on a month long honeymoon to the US. They actually only got a couple of wrapped presents and they were mainly decorative gifts.
Another wedding I attended recently asked for Thomas Cook Vouchers so they could put these towards a belated honeymoon to Florida (they also had two children).
Another wedding couple asked for donations to a large item of furniture they required. In fact they opened a "list" with Debenhams and the only thing on the list was a bed. As they had lived together for some time, they didn’t want anything else so all donations went towards this! It was something they wanted and, I believe, they got enough for the bed and some nice bed linen too.
A lot of weddings in the UK now ask for cash for presents or, if you don’t want to be seen to be mercenary, then vouchers for a particular store. Alternatively, if you don’t want anything, then ask for donations to a charity? I’ve seen that done, too.
It’s your wedding so you do what you want. If anyone has a problem then that is their affair!
Good luck to you both for the future.
My girlfriend and I are getting married next year and she would like to compile a list of items that we can publish for guests to read and then leave at a shop for people to buy. I really hate the idea but hear that it’s quite popular. What are people’s thoughts about this?
I think it’s a great idea, I hate the stress of picking out gifts, to simply just pick one off a list is my idea of shopping heaven!
Hey
I’m thinking of having a wedding of about 100-150 my parents want like 400 people cuz they know so many people!! They want to invite everyone!
It’s horrible and out of my control. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but the wedding list has reached sky high. I don’t even know about 50% of the people. And a few on the list do not like me! This is horrible.
What can I do without hurting my parent’s feelings?
law
http://www.skool.com
IF you are paying for it then you have every right to say thats too many poeple and you dont want people there that you dont know…. im the same way BUT his parents are paying for the wedding ( we are already married just not through church) and they want to invite over 300 poeple we just want about 180 but since they are paying for it there is not much we can do at this point if they want to pay for everyone….
Hey x
my Dad and Step mums wedding is on the 31st may
so next saturday
and i havent yet got them a gift!
but cannot think of what to buy
they do have a wedding list but its all too expensive as i am only 14 
so my budget really is 40 or under
i want to get them something different not like plates or candles , lol
so please help me to think thankyou x 
p.s is you could find anything on an english website, that would be great help thank you xx
How about a nice picture frame? YOu could put a photo of the 3 of you in it after the wedding. www.kodakgallery.com
what’s the etiquette here? It’s my first and hopefully only marriage. Do i have to invite all females on wedding list?? I just dont want my friend to have to pay too much here… I wanted small but I dont know if that’s possible without leaving people out and then feeling bad…
help!!
I know I am not inviting… DUH… but how is my friend supposed to know WHO to invite if I dont give a list of addresses??
Nah, dont invite all the females on the wedding list. Just invite all bridesmaids, female family members, and close friends.
Others like coworkers or casual friends, or wives of your husbands friends, dont need to be invited. (And probably… they dont really want to go)
I always think a shower should be a small, intimate event because it is more comfortable and fun that way! There were 10 guests at my shower and it was perfect. But thats just me. Ive been to showers where 50 or more ladies were there.
Could anyone share their experiences/opinions on these few things? I feel like our wedding list is getting too high but I’m not sure where the wiggle room is…
Did you invite kids to your wedding or have it adults only, and what would you recommend? Is it acceptable to invite some kids and not others?
Is it always necessary to include "& Guest" on invitations to singles?
Did you try to have the number of guests from each side of the family (bride and groom) be as equal as possible?
Thanks very much!
I’m going to pass on Miss Manners’ views here, but bear in mind that it is more important to please your family and future in-laws than to rigidly adhere to etiquette.
Kids: It’s OK to have an ‘adults only’ wedding, but you can’t invite some and exclude others. The exception to this the children and young siblings of the bride and groom can be included while all other children are excluded. But if your bridesmaid’s 2 year old is allowed to attend, then EVERYBODY’S 2 year old must be eqaully welcomed.
Equal guests on both sides. The respective families should be negotiating this one, as it is very complex. Assuming that the bride’s family is paying the bills, they are in a difficult position when their own family is small and the groom’s family is numerous. However, as hosts, they are certainly within their rights to insist on a small wedding. If the groom’s family wants a huge affair, it is perfectly proper for them to hold a dance, tea, reception, or other festive event after the honeymoon, so as to introduce the new couple to their own social circle.
And guest. Oh dear, this one can really upset people, but it is NEVER correct to write "and guest" on invitations to social (rather than business) events. If you want Cousin Betty’s live in boy friend to come, then you must invite him by name. In no case should guests be given reign to invite guests of their own — a wedding is not a disco and one should not expect to bring a date. (Do you really WANT to allow people to entertain guests of their own at your expense?)
I think you are really going to need a lot more detailed advice from Miss Manners, like tips on how to politely (but effectively) enforce your wishes on this one. Also, it would be helpful to have a Miss Manners book act as referee between dueling families, relieving you and your intended of the role. Her books are widely available at stores and at libraries. If your own library doesn’t carry her, ask for an interlibrary loan; I am sure you will find it worth the trouble. (Her real name is "Judith Martin". The books are easy and fun to read and full of GREAT advice for brides and families.)
Added later: Advice along the lines of "it’s YOUR wedding and you can do whatever you want" should be firmly ignored. You have a great deal of responsibility to your guests and your families in this — resist those who urge you to indulge in an orgy of self centered thoughtlessness and overspending.
Is it the bride and grooms? Parents? Wedding party? Also, how do
We get the word out about where we are registered?
What we did was asked our parents to gather their list of people they would like us to invite, and send it to us with their addresses. We didn’t include every person on their lists (due to budget) but it was nice to get all the information at once, instead of having to track stuff down as we addressed everything.
Now, we had a nice head start on this because we sent save the date cards to out-of-province and guests that were more than a 2 hour drives. Although we didn’t send them to every guest, having to get all the addresses gathered up 7 months in advanced really helped reduce the stress when we were mailing the invites out 2 months before the wedding.
Our parents just gave us their Christmas card list (full names and addresses) that they edited down to be a reasonable size for our guest list. It was great because they had all the information for aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.
My husband and I gathered everything for our friends. Mostly we just emailed or used facebook private messages to ask for our friends currently mailing addresses. Those can be harder to keep track of because people in their 20’s move a lot! But it’s nice to have all the info now because I can use the wedding guest list to send out Christmas cards (which I did this year).
Really, your guest list gathering will be a group effort, especially if your parents are going to want to invite some of their friends or work associates.
In terms of spreading the registry word, just let your bridal party and parent know. Guests will know to ask them (or you directly) where you are registered. We also posted that information on our wedding website. And we printed a little business card with the website address on it to include in our wedding invitations as well. It just said: "For venue information, directions, maps and hotel information please visit our wedding website: www.website.com" Then on the website we had a page for the registry information and a link to the store’s website too.
Good Luck!
