Archive for the ‘Wedding to do list’ Category
Ok here is what is going on i am getting married next month and certain family members keep calling saying they have people to add to the guest list. Let me explain my fiance family keep calling
saying they have other family members to add to list mind you this are people who were not invited in the first place. His grandmothers nephew and his great cousin’s were not invited yes his great aunt and uncle were invited but not there kids. My great aunts and uncle on my side were not invited as i don’t really know them and just wanted close family and friends to attend. I mean this is a month before the wedding and we have like 10 people who are coming that was not invited. His family says well they were planning on coming to Visit that weekend and no idea the wedding was that day so we just invited them. Ok fine maybe on or two but not ten we are already way over the limit as to how many people we wanted. But then i get yelled out for inviting a close friend who i just started to talk to again. How do i nicely tell them they can’t invite anyone else i mean i have a month till the wedding and we keep having to add people when i called the tent company in the begging i just got enough table and chairs for people who were invited knowing that not all will show. Please help this is stressing me out it starting to feel like a family runuion for his family instead of a wedding.
Say that you and your husband to be created a guest list based on what you could afford and were comfortable with and you have reached the maximum number of guests you can invite. Say unless someone gets an invite directly, they are not invited. You might have to tell some of these people directly to ensure the word gets around. It’s nice to accommodate a person here or there but I agree it can get out of hand quickly. Best to nip it in the bud sooner than later.
I am currently being faced with 2 wedding guest list issues. Both dealing with cousins and both dealing with children.
I come from a large family (9 aunts and uncles between both parents) Therefore I also have a large number of cousins. Some of these cousins are old enough to have children my age (mid-twenties)
Fact: I plan on inviting ONLY up to first cousins. (No 2nd, or 3rd, and so on)
Fact: Children under 11 are not being invited to the wedding or reception. With the exception of my nephew who is my ring bearer and is the ONLY niece or nephew)
Issue one: I have a set of 3 second cousins who are my age on my fathers side. I am not close to these kids as we grew up apart, but I am close to their mother my 1st cousin. I intend on ONLY inviting my first cousin and her husband. My 2 of my second cousins think that this is unfair and that they should be included because we are close in age. They also feel that they should drag along the 5 children they have between the two of them all under the age of 4. They weren’t supposed to be told that they weren’t invited, but my aunt (Their gram) let something slip when she was up visiting. Neither my cousin or my aunt will be the least bit hurt by me not inviting their children.
How do I clear up this problem without any more drama?
Issue Two: I have an adult cousin on my mothers side with a 4 year old adopted daughter from Guatemala. Unfortunately my cousin only has partial custody of this little girl due to a divorce. Because of that we only see her a couple of times a year, and usually in the fall. My aunt is up in arms over this little girl not being invited to the wedding because “It would be a good time for her to see family” and “You really should use her has a flower girl anyways”. I have made it clear that I am not having young children at my wedding or reception. Also this girl is a tiny tyrant who has clearly been spoiled as a result of her parents. I would worry about her making a scene, and as a flower girl I wouldn’t trust her since in the past she has been quite mean to my nephew because she didn’t like him.
How do I address this issue as well?
I apologize for the length, but I am being bombarded by emails, voicemail, and FB messages and the wedding is STILL a year a way!
Okay, YOUR choice to invite certain generations…Your grandparents generation, your parent’s generation, and Your generation which includes your siblings AND first cousins…
You do NOT have to invite the second generations of cousins as long as you make the cut off first cousins-age is NOT a factor.
To explain this you say you can only afford to invite up to the first cousins…you can not afford 2nd, third cousins…there is no money for that…there is no room for that.
Second, you have the right to make a cut off based on age as well……she does not qualify because she is too young and not a first cousin-her mother is. So by both ‘rules’ she is can not be invited.
The only exception to the no child rule is 1) siblings of the bride or groom 2) child members of the bridal party.
You answer each enquiry once….any repeat enquiries you may answer with ‘I am still very sorry, but my first answer to your request stands…please let us know if you and S0 and So will be attending….
My fiance are were going over our guest list and already are up to 150-160 people. I only want to have about 100 guest, as we are on a limited budget. He wants to invite all his aunts, uncles and cousins…..he has 50 cousins! Both his parents have seven brothers and sisters…I don’t mind having all his aunts and uncles on both sides, but I think it is a bit ridiculous to invite ALL the cousins, I haven’t met half of them either! He doesn’t want to exclude anyone, but we have to draw the line somewhere. No matter what we do, someone is always going to be offended, and I don’t particularly care, it is our wedding and we are paying for it.
Lol, I am almost the exact same situation with my wedding guest list!! My fiance’s barely knows some of, and rarley sees, his father’s family so we were only going to invite the ones that turned up to his brother’s wedding but then we thought it would be rude not to ask more so we extended it a fair bit, more than I wanted. See, my fiance’s father has more family on his side than his mum’s side and both my parents sides. We are paying $100 per person so we can’t have everyone. Most of that family are his cousins, not many aunties and uncles and some second cousins so I said we can invite his cousins but draw the line at their kids. I know some will be offended but I agree with you, we have to pay for it and I don’t care either if they care. So talk to your fiance and find somewhere to draw the line, like only invite the cousins who he knows the best and no kids or something. I know what you mean but at the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you pay to pay for it. Do what is right for you and your pocket!
As in, around twenty people (including/excluding the bridal party)? Of course, having all the trimmings of a 150-person guest list (music, dancing, catering, etc.)
Not that there’s a financial bound of families too big, but just out of personal choice. What’s your opinion?
We did that. We actually had fewer guests. We actually were trying to save money, and we found a way to incorporate, well, MOST of "the trimmings" in modified ways.
For example, we used antique platinum-rimmed china and served steak, but we barbecued the steak ourselves. And instead of a DJ, we burned CDs of the music we wanted. Actually, the weather turned chilly so we moved our party inside and no one actually ever ended up dancing even though we’d prepared for it.
I think you should do whatever the two of you are most comfortable with.
What all is there to plan? Like I know invviations, food, dance hall, church, dress, bridesmaids dresses, groom stuff, I am planning mine for next year and would love some help!!!!
Any tips or ideas… websites with to do lists I could use…would be sooo so appriciated!
I like The Knot (theknot.com). It has tons of information and ideas, and probably more than one checklist. You have to sign up and create an account, but it’s free. Check it out!
My fiance and I have been planning our wedding for some time now and my future mother in law says I need to mail out engagement announcements. I have a book and it doesn’t mention mailing out anything. All it says is that we should personally let our family members know and then announce it in the paper. I am planning our wedding announcement for the paper and we have already alerted our relatives but, she still says I need to mail out announcements so people can plan on the date. She said doing this can also "test drive" the addresses I have for everyone. If this is the case, I guess I need to finalize the wedding list sooner. (AHHH!) She thinks the book I have is out of date but, I don’t think it is. Maybe I’m wrong though.
Do I have to send out engagement announcements? If so, can I just send out save the date cards? I really don’t want to go about this the wrong way but, the whole thing seems silly to me.
That does sound kind of silly. I got engaged in October and our wedding is this coming November. We originally wanted to do an announcement in the paper, but decided instead to register our own website and do an announcement there. We sent out save-the-dates to our attendees, which had the website on them. It’s a much more personal touch, and has the whole story of how we got engaged, and photos and everything. I think you should just tell your close family and friends in person. Plus, if you do a website, you can later add wedding and travel information on there, not to mention that doing an ad in the paper that will run on one day only, probably without a photo, will cost more than registering and hosting a site for a whole year. Check out www.lunarpages.com.
My fiancee and I decided not to have a wedding list as we don’t need anything else apart from the big things - and we can hardly ask for a sofa can we? So we thought money would be more pratical. Only that people in Britain are a bit funny about that sometimes 
Is the following phrase ok or is it to straight forward? Wasn’t sure if the word "contributions" only relates to money…??On the other hand we don’t mind receiving more personal gifts if somebody is short of money or a secon hand sofa - but I don’t want to write an essay and it won’t apply to most of them..so what do you think?
Please do not feel obliged to buy a gift! Your presence at our wedding is more important to us. However, if you wish, contributions towards the bigger things for our new home would be greatly appreciated.
The etiquette way would be NOT to say anything in the wedding invitation envelope. You don’t want to call attention to gifts, money or pitching in for a gift. However, we all know it’s been done many times.
If you choose to include something, I would have a little card printed up that is sent in with your invitations & enclosure. The 1st two sentences you noted above is perfect. I think it would be best to take the last sentence off entirely…because it’s basically stating that you will take money. It’s contradicting what you said in the 1st two sentences.
You could change the copy to say "Monetary Gifts Only Please." This would clearly tell guests that you will take money towards a bigger item.
Good luck & Happy Planning!
Rexcraft
We’re going to a wedding this weekend - it’s a very good friend of mine from school days. They sent us an e-mail detailing their wedding list info.
Are we the only people in the world who don’t like wedding lists?!
I appreciate that times have changed; people live together before marriage (we did) and so already have the traditional wedding gifts of household items, but I don’t like being told what to get!
To me, it takes away my right to give a personal present to the couple which they will always remember is from me/us.
Therefore, I haven’t even looked at the list…I have gone and bought a little gift which is unique.
We didn’t have a wedding list, and we got loads of great stuff ‘cos people had to think. We got loads of lovely candles, and somebody got us a wicker basket filled with bottles of wine! The vino is long gone but we use the basket all the time. One person’s present was to take us to the airport and bring us back - Wedding lists NO!!
At my wedding we had a registry list, but a lot of people went and bought gifts on their own. I think the list is for those people who don’t want to, or can’t think of what to get you. Most people will not go by the list. We got a lot of unique things as well, and I was happy with the outcome.
My sister loves parties. She is a having a big 40th in a few weeks. I asked her what she wanted as a present and she said she will send me a "wish list". She emailed a word document and it had some big items on it like outdoor furniture and settings, tickets to expensive concerts and doona sets etc. She had on a few smaller items like beautican vouchers but nothing on the list was under $50. It seemed more like a wedding list. Do you think it was a bit rude? I will be putting in with my family to get an item, however her friends have been instructed to email me wanting to know what she wants and I will send them the list. I feel a bit embaressed to do this. Do you think she is being greedy?
thats pretty rude and greedy, she should be happy with whatever she gets, birthday wish lists are for little kids, not grown women, talk to your sister about adding some more affordable items on the list
Im getting married and i am writing my invitations out. Im not going to do a big wedding list or go into a store and do one as i feel a bit cheeky asking for presents, i dont know y i just do lol. So instead ive decided to ask those who would like to give a gift to please give us money towards our honeymoon, so what I am going to do is add a small slip of paper in with the invitation stating that if people would like to give a gift please give money for our honeymoon, but I dont know how to word it. I dont want them to sound rude and begging for money and i dont want to make people feel like they have to give but I want to let them know that thats what we would like if they want to give a present but I dont know how to word it nicely. I would appreciate it if anyone could help me out with wording them, thank u very much x
There is no right way to word this. It would be like going to someone’s house and saying "If you feel like giving me something to eat, I’m very fond of roast beef and potatoes." You’re supposed to wait until someone offers you something, not bring up the topic yourself.
If you do your RSVP by phone, when people call then most of them will ask what sort of gift the couple would most appreciate. You and your helpers should be prepared with a response that seems to offer them several options, and not narrow their options down to cash. "They collect antique coins, they drink Courvoisier, their decor is forest green and white, and they welcome contributions to the honeymoon fund" works well. A few people will give you coins, cognac, or curios, but most will get the hint and give cash. Notice I said a response that SEEMS to offer options, rather than one that actually offers any good options other than cash. Etiquette is tricky and twisted, not straight forward and frank.
I hope this was helpful. Congrats and best wishes.
