Wedding Information

Archive for June, 2010

I am currently being faced with 2 wedding guest list issues. Both dealing with cousins and both dealing with children.

I come from a large family (9 aunts and uncles between both parents) Therefore I also have a large number of cousins. Some of these cousins are old enough to have children my age (mid-twenties)

Fact: I plan on inviting ONLY up to first cousins. (No 2nd, or 3rd, and so on)
Fact: Children under 11 are not being invited to the wedding or reception. With the exception of my nephew who is my ring bearer and is the ONLY niece or nephew)

Issue one: I have a set of 3 second cousins who are my age on my fathers side. I am not close to these kids as we grew up apart, but I am close to their mother my 1st cousin. I intend on ONLY inviting my first cousin and her husband. My 2 of my second cousins think that this is unfair and that they should be included because we are close in age. They also feel that they should drag along the 5 children they have between the two of them all under the age of 4. They weren’t supposed to be told that they weren’t invited, but my aunt (Their gram) let something slip when she was up visiting. Neither my cousin or my aunt will be the least bit hurt by me not inviting their children.
How do I clear up this problem without any more drama?

Issue Two: I have an adult cousin on my mothers side with a 4 year old adopted daughter from Guatemala. Unfortunately my cousin only has partial custody of this little girl due to a divorce. Because of that we only see her a couple of times a year, and usually in the fall. My aunt is up in arms over this little girl not being invited to the wedding because “It would be a good time for her to see family” and “You really should use her has a flower girl anyways”. I have made it clear that I am not having young children at my wedding or reception. Also this girl is a tiny tyrant who has clearly been spoiled as a result of her parents. I would worry about her making a scene, and as a flower girl I wouldn’t trust her since in the past she has been quite mean to my nephew because she didn’t like him.
How do I address this issue as well?

I apologize for the length, but I am being bombarded by emails, voicemail, and FB messages and the wedding is STILL a year a way!

Okay, YOUR choice to invite certain generations…Your grandparents generation, your parent’s generation, and Your generation which includes your siblings AND first cousins…

You do NOT have to invite the second generations of cousins as long as you make the cut off first cousins-age is NOT a factor.

To explain this you say you can only afford to invite up to the first cousins…you can not afford 2nd, third cousins…there is no money for that…there is no room for that.

Second, you have the right to make a cut off based on age as well……she does not qualify because she is too young and not a first cousin-her mother is. So by both ‘rules’ she is can not be invited.

The only exception to the no child rule is 1) siblings of the bride or groom 2) child members of the bridal party.

You answer each enquiry once….any repeat enquiries you may answer with ‘I am still very sorry, but my first answer to your request stands…please let us know if you and S0 and So will be attending….

My roommate’s just got engaged and they’re planning the wedding for October. They both want a simple wedding without all of the fancy stuff most people go for. She’s really bad at organizing and is worried she’ll forget something important in the midst of everything.

Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

My roommate’s just got engaged and they’re planning the wedding for October. They both want a simple wedding without all of the fancy stuff most people go for. She’s really bad at organizing and is worried she’ll forget something important in the midst of everything.
Any really simple, checklist type book I could give her as an engagement present?

I really hate to recommend the site because it’s full of bridezillas and their enablers, but theknot.com has a decent pre-Wedding checklist of things that you might want or need to do. It’s free to use and not a book, but once I sorted out the "force bridesmaids to purchase ugly dresses" steps, it was useful enough.

The short list, especially for a short engagement is: self, partner, license, someone able to perform the ceremony, and witnesses. Everything else is just so much fairy dust.

I want something that will be mailed to me, not that I print off. I wasn’t sure if there even was such a possible thing. Hence asking the question here.

Sometimes when you set up your registry the store will have freebies, including a planner.

For my planner I just used a calender/notebook combo I bought at Staples, I think it was like $6. There was a section with a calendar (and weekly pages too), a section for phone numbers, 3 blank sections, and 2 pockets. I practically slept with it.

Also, is it necessary to put return postage on the RSVP cards?

It is poor etiquette to include Any info about gifts on the wedding invitation. The best way around this is to create a wedding website (you can do this for free at theknot.com and weddingchannel.com) and usually there will be a page on that to include registry info. There is also other info too like date/time, dress code, directions, etc. You can place a card in with your invitations that has the wedding website address on it. I put it on the bottom of the direction card and had it say "For more information, visit www.blah.com." This way, the info is somewhere and someone will find it, yet you haven’t broken any rules of etiquette or been rude in any way.

I do think it is necessary to put return postage on the rsvp cards. You will get many more back by doing this. If you leave it up to them, many people will toss it aside thinking they will "get to it" but they may never do it. by putting the stamps on it, they can just fill it out and send it right back.